Procrastinated Joy

I’ve fallen again.

This slip was not in the bathroom and didn’t break any bones. Instead, I’ve been tripping down the seductive and slippery slope of “As Soon As.” It sounds something like this:

“As soon as I get this pin out of my foot, everything will be better.”

How about you? Any of these sound familiar?

As soon as _________ stops, I won’t be as stressed.

As soon as I lose ___________ amount of weight or change __________ on my body, I will finally feel good about myself.

As soon as ________ is deposited into the bank account, everything will be better.

As soon as I get _________, I’ll be content.

As soon as ________ is over, I’ll be happier.

As soon as __________ quits doing ________, I won’t be so frustrated.

Listen, it’s absolutely okay to long for better days and hope for positive changes, to pray for relief when we are suffering. But procrastinated joy is different. It can become a slippery slope, friends. Be careful. Procrastinated joy places joy just out of our reach, believing it is a place on a future timeline, not an abundant gift our Good Father will give us. Today.

On September 26th, my surgeon will remove the pin that was inserted down the side of my foot, holding the bone fragments in place so they can fuse. I’ve been meticulously counting down the days until the unwelcome alien is banished from my body. This part of the recovery has kept me non-weight bearing longer than expected. It has required me to diligently protect my foot so as not to jostle the pin and interfere with the critical fusing process.

Again, it’s good for me to long for a healthy recovery and be excited about progressing through the healing process. However, I’ve been going to bed every night and waking up every morning with that ONE driving thought , “As soon as I get this stupid thing out of my foot, my life will be so much better.”

Last night, I was hit with a jolt of conviction as electrifying as lighting in a sudden Texas thunderstorm. It sounded something like this:

“Stop waiting away your life.”

I mean, things WILL be better when I can walk. My life WILL be easier when I don’t have to protect my foot from jarring the bones out of place.

But I can’t put my life on hold.

I have to live it.

If I spend every single one of these moments wishing not to BE in this moment, I am missing timeless lessons that are mine. There are treasures waiting to be discovered, piled up only for me and only in this season. I will never have the opportunity again to gather the wisdom available through this particular struggle. My injury will continue to be an important teacher. I don’t want to be the student slouched in her chair, glazed eyes, mindlessly staring out of the window while twirling her hair, and waiting for the teacher to stop talking and the bell to ring.

I want to be alive and awake in each of these days as I wait. I want to learn, absorb, grow. Crutches and all. Pin and all.

Friends, we need to post sentinels on the slippery slope of As Soon As, guarding us from believing tomorrow will somehow deliver us from all our struggles. Procrastinated joy will trip us and hide today’s unique treasures. Be careful my friends, or you might slip and As Soon As your life away.

What’s the slippery slope you’ve been sliding around on?

“Jesus, protect us from the insidious danger of believing we don’t have what we need in this moment. Help us find our daily bread today. Give us the grace to hold fast to you, seeking hard after the treasures you have for us in the day we are living, the one right in front of us. Reveal the joy you have scattered all around us today.”